Who is Red John?

Theory #18356 • by Quitthat

Suspect

Brenda Shettrick

Brenda Shettrick
Suspected in 21 theories

ARGUMENTATION

What If There Is No More Red John?

Well, I exhausted all my good theories, but what if we reached the end of the fuse and Red John really was the Sheriff who saved Jane's life despite the danger of height, just to change his mind few days later and try to reunite him with his ill departed loved ones.
It's time we face that possibility and let our imagination run wild to what may become the most pedestrian ending to a TV show ever sanctioned for extended life span.

First, we jump in time 6 years ahead.
Lisbon is still with Jane (surprise, surprise. she is not with Marcus because then we would be scratching our heads to what the heck just happened, and she is not with a completely new face either, because that would be too creative for our simple comprehension... no, she is with Jane)... and they have a child.

It's a boy. 

No it's a girl.

Oh well, it doesn't really matter what it is, IT is healthy and that's all we can hope for an offspring conceived in a relationship between two siblings. It responds to John even though it's birth-certificate indicates Brett Thomas Ray Gale Bret Bob Reede Roy Jisbon. The red dress looks fabulous on the child's first day of pre-school.

When Lisbon arrives to pick up the her...ahem... pride and joy, she is immediately importuned by the teachers to assist them in solving a crime committed earlier at the day-care. Apparently, someone dipped few pacifiers.in shet. Lisbon not having a good day herself, brushes off the offer with; "Wait few days. Whoever's pacifier remains clean is the culprit." Although, her advice seemed logical, at the same time it was dismissed as a frustrating process for the day-care owner who seemed genuinely concerned over the law suits his enterprise may face in the process. Despite the proffer of substantial bribery, Lisbon was firm in her decision displaying no interest in changing her already hectic schedule for petty matters of no-no's like the one at the hand... or should we say at the mouth.

Jane, on the other hand jumped on the opportunity to postpone his overdue chores at his domestic nest, and willingly offered his superb investigation skills to solve the mystery of the day (care). All he asked for was a cob of corn and little bit of privacy. He shielded his frolicsome actions by turning his back to all the present until his plan was fully set in motion. Once completed the task, he lined up all the kids and fed them corn like farmers fed their gooses. Afterwards, he sent them away to drink some soda pop from the baby beakers already awaiting them in the lunch room. He prevented all the grown ups from following the kids into the establishment until a sharp scream from inside ended the awkward silence.

"Aha!"

Soon as they breached the premises, a child run towards them complaining that  someone shet in his juice. Jane, without startle, cautiously lifted the lid off of the cup and vigorously stirred the liquid full of an unknown dark matter, until the foreign substance dissolved leaving a single red kernel floating on the surface. It was time for Jane to reach into his memory box to recall the exact kid he fed that red kernel to... however, to everyone's disappointment... he drew blank.

Driving home, Lisbon without uttering any words of comfort will imply with smile from the corner of her eyes, that Jane has lost his touch. Patrick will smile back with slight embarrassment hiding his shame in reciprocal silence. Once home, Lisbon runs in the house to grab the ringing phone, before the unknown caller hangs up, while Jane turns to his child:
"Don't worry kiddo! This will remain our secret." 

Oh, you are probably wondering why Shettrick? Do I really have to spell "it" out?


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