There is more to Red John's hatred for Patrick Jane than his comments on TV and while reviewing names of some of the episodes, one name tied in with some of my latest theories so here goes...

Blue-eyed Bret Stiles is Patrick Jane's real father blue-eyed Alex Jane.  He had to change his name due to his previous con games and the reveal of his true identity has been Patrick's hold over Bret Stiles.  Bret Stiles / Alex Jane in spite of being a con man does truly love Patrick and would not have killed Patrick's family or anybody else and thus he is not Red John.  However, Red John also has it in for Alex Jane / Bret Stiles and has been framing Bret Stiles and Visualize with the crimes that FBI has against them.  

The name of the Episode called "Red Headed Stepchild" is the one that pulls this theory even tighter.  What if back in the Carnie days, Alex Jane aka Bret Stiles had a love affair or better yet was married to a beautiful red headed woman who looked very similar to Grace Van Pelt and this woman had a son who was either half brother or step brother to Patrick  - aka "Red headed stepchild."  For no specific reason, this red headed "stepchild" was jealous of his half brother / step brother Patrick The Boy Wonder and over time the jealousy turned into dillusional and obsessive hatred for Patrick.  When Patrick went on TV as a psychic pretending to describe Red John, it was just what his psychotic red headed step brother / half brother needed as a legitimate reason to hurt Patrick which would throw no suspicion on a previous relationship between them as well as would make Patrick eaten up with guilt for taunting Red John into killing his family when in reality Red John was just waiting for the chance to hurt Patrick the best way he could!
 
To take this a little deeper and tie up a few more loose ends, what if Red John's red headed mother had a red headed daughter or younger red headed sister who was Kristina Frye.  She did make Red John mad by talking about him on TV but since she was family he did not kill her when he could have.  One last theory to tie this all up in a neat "Red Ribbon" - Remember when Grace Van Pelt said she had an aunt that was psychic, what if unbeknownst to her Christina Frye is that aunt.  Playing "If then" if Christina Frye is her aunt then that could make her Alex Jane's (Bret Stiles's) biological daughter and thus also Patrick Jane's and Red John's half sister or step sister.  I don't remember hearing about Van Pelt's mother so the red headed woman could have married her father the football coach or she was adopted by them.

Although I have my own suspicions as to who is Red John, am not naming him at this point so you can vote on the plausibility of this theory of Red John's numerous connections!  Please vote green if you think this theory is plausible!