Lorelei wondered why Jane and Red John didn't become lifelong friends the moment they shook hands. This implies the first time Jane met Red John, they shook hands. Moreover, I believe the scene where Red John and Jane shook hands is of great importance, so important that it had to be included in the show. So possible off-screen handshakes are ruled out. It's the type of scene fans would like to go back and watch after Red John's identity is revealed. Luckily, the show includes the scenes where Jane first met every single one of the five remaining suspects.
 
He first met Stiles while he was recording a promotional video for the cult in Visualize HQ(Red All Over). No handshake here.
First met McAllister on a crime scene in Napa County(Red Hair and Silver Tape). No handshake.
First met Smith after investigating a crime scene(The Crimson Ticket). The CBI team is about to leave when Smith and his colleague arrive and end up fighting with Cho and Rigsby. No handshake here either.
He first met Bertram on a crime scene(Red Sky At Night). They shook hands.
First met Haffner after Lisbon's team was suspended in the beginning of the fourth season(Little Red Book). They shook hands.

So it's just Bertram and Haffner. Of course all this is based on the minimum competency expected from the producer, which has been questioned several times. Personally, after Red John's identity is revealed, I would like to go back and watch where he first met Jane. The handshake was a turning point, it has to be included in the show. Jane's emphasis on the handshake part and not just "meeting" would support my theory. The problem I face is similar to what Rosalind's description theories and Red John's age theories face; namely, why didn't Jane take them into account. Using Rosalind's description he can easily rule out Bertram. And knowing that Red John was a younger than 30 in 1988 would rule out Stiles. But Jane didn't do it, at least it looks like he didn't. It's possible he's trying to trick Red John into believing he's so far from catching him while he's actually closer than he anticipated. It's also possible the show is not flawless, but I highly doubt it, at least not on the scale of ignoring all of these data, but it's still a possibility.